By western author Nick Brumby

“Don’t need rail to deliver your mail. ” 

—Slogan from an ACME ‘Cloud City Express’ poster advertising its Perambulating Steam Locomotive service

***

Dateline: April 1, 2025

DID YOU KNOW?: Kansas’ mythical ‘Iron Horse’ Perambulating Steam Locomotive Service was launched on this day in 1866, striding its way into history as America’s first walking train.

The venture was born years earlier when investors in the famous Pony Express suffered heavy financial losses due to the introduction of the telegraph and the impending transcontinental railway.

Eager for revenge and quick profits, they saw an opportunity to use cutting edge steam train technology to make windfall profits while at the same time making the railways obsolete. Their plan was to introduce a fast train service spanning the country, delivering mail, goods and passengers from coast to coast without needing to invest in land or build expensive railway tracks.

They established the ACME ironworks in Cloud City, Kansas and set up a competition with a $10,000 prize to find the cheapest design. Their competition rules called for a steam train that was not confined to rails, and in fact could make its own way across any conceivable terrain, and in fact adapt and change route depending on conditions at the time.

The winning design was by local Kansas inventor Ebeneezer Streetcar. In a stroke of genius Mr Streetcar attached a set of long legs to a steam locomotive. Early testing saw the mechanical marvel reach a stately speed of 11.47mph across prairies, rivers, lakes, snow, and gentle gradients without concern.

On paper the Iron Horse was ideal for its purpose, with thick armor plate protecting passengers and crew, and an elevated gun cupola allowing snipers and rifleman an uninterrupted field of fire.

To save on money ACME didn’t hire train drivers and engineers but instead rehired the same horsemen who rode for the Pony Express years earlier because they knew the best shortcuts across the American Frontier. This later proved a fatal mistake.

The design was so promising plans were well advanced to also build a prototype intercontinental Perambulating Oceanic Steam Locomotive service (the fabled Salt-water Iron Horse). This would make the ‘mere’ transcontinental railway obsolete in a single stroke. However, prototypes for sea-going Perambulating Steam Locomotives were revised a number of times and eventually scrapped due to the locomotive’s legs being too short to reach the ocean floor.

After years of development the Acme ‘Iron Horse’ Perambulating Steam Locomotive service was launched on April 1st, 1866, carrying a load of mail and packages from Cloud City to San Francisco. A local Native American warband spotted the walking train out on the prairie and were awed, christening the contraption the ‘Kansas Iron Horse’. Word quickly spread about the Iron Horse, attracting onlookers from miles around.

Despite the years of development, the Iron Horse soon ran into trouble. The walking train was attacked by Comanche warbands who were convinced the Iron Horse was filled with US Cavalry. The inexperienced engineer (previously a Pony Express rider) feeding the train’s boiler burned more and more lumber to increase speed, however soon ran short of fuel. Surrounded by horsemen, the engineer resorted to throwing the mail and packages into the fire to lighten the load and get more speed.

The Iron Horse was eventually stopped by Comanche warriors on horseback. The Comanche used an innovative ‘harpoon ‘ attack by attaching rawhide ropes to arrows, and tying up the walking train’s legs by circling the steam train while holding the ropes. The Perambulating Steam Locomotive was finally taken down by fabled Comanche warrior ‘Walks-the Sky’ at the ‘Battle of Hoth Creek on April 1st 1868.

The Iron Horse’s end came soon after. In desperation the inexperienced train driver threw a stick of dynamite into the boiler to drive extra power to the legs so it could snap the ropes. However he only succeeded in blowing the Iron Horse to bits.

The Acme ‘Iron Horse’ Perambulating Steam Locomotive was left rusting away where it fell on the prairie alongside Hoth Creek, until enterprising merchants salvaged the iron/steel wreckage to make armored toilet seats for the US Navy strike force fighting during the Spanish American War of 1898.

Today almost all traces of the legendary Iron Horse are long gone. However dedicated history buffs still comb the Kansas prairie with metal detectors, last finding a remnant of America’s only Perambulating Steam Locomotive last April 1st.

However local say there are still rusty bits of scrap laying around if you know where to look.

About Nick Brumby

I like a good story. And of all stories, I love westerns the most.

As a kid, I spent far too many afternoons re-watching Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns, picking up ‘Shane’ for just one more read, or saddling up beside Ben Cartwright when ‘Bonanza’ was on TV each afternoon.

I’m a former journalist and I love horses, dogs, and the occasional bourbon whiskey. I live with my wife, daughter and our ever-slumbering hound in a 1800’s-era gold mining town – our house is right on top of the last working gold mine in the area. There may not be much gold left, but there’s history wherever you look.

I hope you enjoy my westerns as much as I enjoyed writing them!

Happy trails,

Nick